When Someone Ignores You


I think I’ve written about this topic, before, but it was quite some time ago.

Recently, a friend of mine, asked me what to do or how to react if the man she’s currently dating doesn’t respond to her emails, texts, etc. I could tell this upset her and, why wouldn’t it?

NO ONE enjoys being ignored. No one.

So why do we do it? Why do we think it’s okay to be disrespectful when we typically hate it when it’s done to us? As I’ve been in the sales world for 30-years, I’m very used to people not getting back to me. It’s a priority thing – I’m trying to sell them something/pass along information, and they don’t always have the time or need to get back to me.

I get that, as annoying as it is, I get that. However, I make it a practice to always be polite and respectful of sales reps reaching out to me. No matter how cheesy they come across, how insistent they are, or how presumptuous, I can’t find it within myself to be mean. Mean/rude people, no matter how you want to justify it, are just that: mean and rude.

You can make whatever excuse you want to, explain yourself away by saying you’re teaching that person a lesson (how kind of you!) etc., etc…but there simply is no justification to be impolite to someone who is just trying to make a living.

Not everyone is lucky enough to not have to cold call or email strangers to make ends meet. It’s great that you make all your business through word of mouth but at some point, you will talk to someone out there and tell them about YOU and what you DO. That, my darlings, is selling. It’s relationship selling, but it’s selling.

All of this said, it’s often the ones closest to us, our friends and family, that think it’s perfectly okay to not get back to us, or take weeks to do it. We’ve heard it all.

I lost your text.

No, you didn’t. You purposefully deleted it and then forgot about that person or chose to not reply.

I thought I emailed you back.

If you have that many personal emails to respond to, make a list and set aside some time to respond to those who you mean something to. We’re all busy. We all have better things we can/should be doing and we can all set aside 30 min. to type out a few quick emails. Even if it’s just to say: “I’m super busy! I haven’t forgotten about you…and will respond when I’ve got some more time. Xox”

Now, if you know me and are reading this and think I may be talking about you (and you’re now upset) you very well may be guilty. If you are, put yourself in the place of someone who gets ignored, and think about how that makes you feel.

Pretty crappy, right?

When you ignore someone, you’re telling them that they don’t matter to you. This leads to hurt feelings, anger, resentment and confusion. The result of this is that this person thinks you don’t care.

Clearly you matter to them! If you have someone in your life who doesn’t matter to you, time to cut them loose and save them some hurt.

Back to my friend. As she was clearly upset by this man ignoring her, I asked her why she spent time engaging with someone who wasn’t engaging with her. If your love interest can’t be bothered with you…why are they still your love interest? I can tell you they are not so interested in you!

Your takeaway is to really think how it affects others when you consciously choose to not respond when they reach out to you or take an unreasonable amount of time. How much time is unreasonable? Ask yourself how long you think it should take others to get back to you…

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Happy New Year 2017


Wow, what a bizarre 12 months 2016 was! It’s like we all stepped into the Twilight Zone where surreal became reality. I’m not sure I’m over it, yet.

That being said, it’s time to take a big breath (really BIG breath, maybe several) and take a peek into the new year of our lives. What do you see? What do you feel? How do you think you will be?

The New Year is always a bit daunting; especially with the way the world is, today. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of crap going on and for the most part, we are powerless to make an impact. However, here’s 5 things you can do as a start to a positive new beginning.

  1. Focus your energy on LOVE, not anger.
  1. Be kinder in a world where there is so much hate, violence and misunderstandings.
  1. Hug someone, today…even if it’s just your pet. 🙂 Pets need our love and support, too.
  1. Reach out to a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while and just ask them how they are doing.
  1. Tell someone you love and appreciate them. It could your mother, or sister or lover or spouse. Maybe it’s your best friend or dad or brother. Maybe it’s yourself. Always save some love for YOU – you need it just as much.

Be brave, my lovelies; I think we’re in for a wild ride but an uplifting one. Let us make a difference, one hug at a time. Let us pass along the positive and the love so that it grows and becomes a force so much stronger than what’s out there, now.

We can do it; I have faith in humanity, one soul at a time.

TONS of love!

Carrie xo

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Dear Neighbours to the South


I’ve been pretty quiet about the impending US Election but hey, it’s crunch-time …

Hey there,

It’s Canada, here. We’re rather concerned about who may be running your country, next. In fact, the whole world is on the very edge of their seats – and not in a good way.

Now…not everyone is a big “Hillary” fan and I get that but the alternative is, well…it’s insane, really. I won’t get into it because I think there is enough out there on the Interwebs to explain what I’m talking about and unless you’ve been living in a cave on Mars for the last 6 months or so, you’re well aware of the multiple scandals, shenanigans and whatnot.

So…

You’ve gotten yourselves into quite the pickle, haven’t you?

Which evil to pick??? Well, neither are evil, really, just flawed human beings like the rest of us, however, the rest of us are not wanting to run the most powerful country on our planet. Just sayin’.

So let’s keep with this ‘evil’ theme just for shits and giggles. And, to keep it simple in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Here is what I think: You’ve got the Wicked Witch of the West VS Satin-in-all-his-glory. Now, no one wants a wicked witch running the show but hear me out. After all, as long as the flying monkeys are fed, you should be okay’ish, right?

Now, Satan…he pretends to be on your side but we all know his objective is to take your soul. You need your soul! And he doesn’t really care which souls they are, either. Oh….he’s spewing off about African Americans, Latinos, women, people who are physically challenged, LBGT, Muslims, Rosie O’Donnell (have I left anyone out?) and, there’s a great deal of question around his sexual deviancy & decency but it’s your SOUL he really wants.

If you’re not on this list, it’s only a matter of time. Trust me.

We love you, America, and I’m not just saying this because you’re our biggest trading partner but because you’re kinda like a big brother to us. I know people with older siblings who have issues, so I’m not judging. You’re already GREAT so no one has to make you that way, again. Don’t buy into this hogwash.

Plus, you’re our neighbor and all; we’re stuck with you. It’s not like we can pick up our HUGE landmass and move it adjacent to Australia. Although, that would be really cool given that it’s way warmer and Canadians and Aussies get along quite well.

But I digress…

Pick the witch, for the love of all that’s HOLY! She may make your life a living hell but at least you won’t reside there, permanently.

You are always welcome, here, after all, we’ve got lots of space (even if much of it is frozen).  And I understand we’re very polite (most of the time). We do say, “sorry”, a lot, and I apologize for that.

Anyway, we’re counting on you to do the right thing; please don’t let us down.

Your pals to the North,

xox

Why?


Some days I wonder why. Why all the violence, senseless murders, anger, fear and sociopaths filled with hate that may be the next leader of the most powerful country in the world?

What does it all mean? I think the human race, in our time, is experimenting on experiencing …

Just how bad, can or will it get before we let the light in?

They say: it is always darkest just before the Day dawneth.

I dare suspect it will grow considerably darker before humanity understands that we need to change our ways of thinking and doing on a global scale.

And then, there will be a dawn like no other but it will slip into the world so slowly and gently and with such love that it will take us a bit to realize that we’ve emerged out of one of the worst times Western Civilization has ever seen.

Hang on, it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

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Lessons I’ve Learned


About 150 years ago, okay – it is slightly less than that, when I was a teenager…I was painfully shy. I didn’t want to be but always marched to the beat of my own drum. I wasn’t a follower and I never have been.

Teenagers judge, as teens do, and I was judged to be a snob. I’m not sure how that prognoses came about but that is what was conveyed to me, years later. Had they known about the abusive, broken (and very unhappy) home I lived in, perhaps they’d have been kinder…but I doubt it. Kids can be mean no matter what the circumstances are.

“We all thought you were a snob.” I was told at my 10-year GRAD reunion. I haven’t been to one, since.

Perhaps it’s because I didn’t try very hard to ‘fit’ in to any particular group; I still don’t but people think I do. I just…be. I’m there. If you like me, cool, if not, that’s cool, too.

But you know, I USED to care. It used to bother me that I was the last one picked in gym class or for any group project. It USED to bother me that the cliquey groups talked about me behind my back and that I had all of two friends, at the time, in the entire world.

I was and am different and what I’ve learned over the years is that my difference makes me super cool to more people than I thought. I was (and am still to some degree) very sensitive and I can’t relate to people who are surface dwellers. What I mean by that is – many folks are shallow and can’t possibly understand anyone who swims in the deep end. That’s okay; difference strokes, right? Pun intended.

My point is- if you’re that young person who is shy, maybe a little depressed because of things happening at home, misunderstood, picked on, etc. I’m here to tell you that it’s all going to be okay if you don’t get caught up in the bullshit. I get it. Like Bilbo, I’ve been there and back again. In fact, I did the journey a few times. There were dragons, too!

If you believe in yourself even a little bit, you’ll make it. Know that I believe in you. I was you.

If you’re that different person, I want to tell you to celebrate! You are some of the chosen few who are able to not only swim in the deep in but live there. You’re incredibly special. These are fantastic survival techniques. Should one of the shallow-ended people be tossed into the drink where you are, they always end up drowning.

But YOU.

YOU are the survivor. You were made for this, baby!

I’m not going to tell you to NOT let things bother you because they still will. Work through it; you can do it. You’ve got this. I’m here to let you know that it’s this very process that makes you strong and teaches you that at the end of the day, you don’t need to let it bother you. Once you get that, once you lose your dependence on what others think:

Then…you will let it go.

Let it.

Go.

You’ll find at some point you don’t need it anymore and what has taken its place, well…that would be confidence coupled with a lot of humility and gratitude that you weathered the storm. Be proud, you brave and beautiful warrior.

You did it. You made it and if you’re still in the thick of it, you’re GOING to make it. I’m sure of it.Don’t doubt yourself and if you do, look in the mirror and picture yourself at 40 or 50 and see the amazing human who is living the dream in your eyes. He is there. She is waiting for you.

You are the people who are the teachers, the entrepreneurs, the givers and believers, the lovers and dreamers. You are the future of change and change is inevitable. So, keep on fighting the good fight and when someone doesn’t like you or ignores you for whatever reason. Know that it’s because they’re making room for others (the right people for you) to come into your life. Those that understand.

Like me!

Go get ‘em tiger. I’m in your corner. Dare to be different.

xo

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Relationships


re·la·tion·ship

rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/

noun

noun: relationship; plural noun: relationships

  1. the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
synonyms: connection, relation, association, link, correlation, correspondence, parallel, alliance, bond, interrelation, interconnection

 

I’ve always kind of prided myself in being good at relating to others. Although, truth be told, it wasn’t always so. I’m not specifically referring to the romantic kind, either, as relationships form the basis of …well…pretty much our entire world.

It’s how we ‘relate’ to one another both as individuals and groups, that dictate how others perceive us and ultimately how we view ourselves.

When I was much younger, I was terribly shy. It didn’t help that I came from a mostly difficult and painful, home life. I had trust issues. Later on in life I discovered I had abandonment issues. Thankfully there are professionals who help us deal with these things!

I usually don’t let a lot of people into my life (again…trust and abandonment issues) and once upon a time I thought that I had ‘enough’ people in my life and didn’t need any more. I’ve since reviewed this way of thinking and yes…this is because of the whole ‘Brian’ thing.

I don’t believe he realized how many people really loved him. I don’t think he knew just how deeply he affected our lives and he was the kind of guy who would to go to Meet-Up groups and make friends very easily. He was quite a friendly dude. Everyone really liked him.

So I got to thinking… Maybe I shouldn’t be so afraid of reaching out; perhaps I should try a little harder to ‘connect’ to people. If it doesn’t work out, well, no biggie – we move on.

Since I’ve been more receptive to opening my door to possibly new relationships with others, I’ve made friends with clients (women whom I now count as dear personal friends), offered strangers free Reiki so that I may be of service. I’ve created a basis for trust and respect that is reciprocal.

In short, I’ve extended my network of souls and it feels really good! I’m very far from being perfect or even getting to a place where I could even hope to be on the same page as SO many others in my life.

But, I’m making vast improvements. Baby steps, after all.

The message, here?

Be open to receiving as well as giving. Be open to people who care and allow yourself to care, back.

Connect, reach out, believe in kindness, create bonds, alliances and above all else – give of yourself.

Don’t be afraid to love and be loved.

Thanks for the lesson, Bri – and just in time for Christmas, too. 😉

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What I’ve Learned


People will whine about anything and everything.

There will always be someone (or many someone’s) who will complain when others try and do a good deed because they feel that it impacts them, personally, in a negative way and this frightens them. Even if it really doesn’t, they will complain about it because they are ruled by fear.

There will always be people who don’t ‘get’ that we are all cut from the same cloth and are here on Earth to LOVE, not hate and kill.

I’ve also learned…

People who give the most often have the least to give and complain about nothing, but instead, are grateful for everything.

There will always be someone (or a whole lot of someone’s) willing to step up to the plate and do the right thing to help their fellow human being or animal.

There will always be people who ‘get’ we are all the same, underneath our skin, and that passing around love, gratitude, help and whatever one can spare will impact not only the person/people/animals it’s directed towards but all of those around them and then some. Grace and love travel at the speed of thought. Hate seems to need the internet to boost its message of fear.

That’s all I got, folks.

Amen/FIN

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