Category Archives: Money

Creating Your Day

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

If you’re like me, the moment you wake up in the morning, you start to think about all the things you have to do for the day. Sometimes, there’s worry. Worry about things that may or may not happen. Often our thoughts are rather negative.

I’ve been doing a little experiment.

Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, I ask one question:

What’s the BEST thing that can happen today?

Then, I get all excited about all sorts of wonderful things that can happen, literally creating my reality with universal energy. It may sound all fluffy and woo-woo…but let me tell you something.

It works.

Not only have things magically appeared but they keep coming in! The key is to come at this from a place of fun and love. Not desperation or fear.

Have FUN with it! Think of it as a fun experiment that can’t fail as you’ve put zero expectation into it, yet you’re open to ALL possibilities.

Go on. Try it and watch the magic happen.

Magic hands

We Have Become a Culture of Apathy

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

In my day job, we occasionally have events that we host. I know from experience that no matter how many people sign up and ‘commit’ to attending these events, that maybe half will actually show up. The other half that didn’t show up won’t call or email, they’ll just be a ‘no show’. This is now normal, and people expect it.

We also take our time in returning calls, answering emails or texts. In fact, sometimes people don’t bother answering at all. Again, this seems to be expected if not widely acceptable. There are all sorts of excuses offered: I forgot. I really thought I already emailed you. I was too busy. I was going to get to you when I had time. Et Cetera.

I remember when I was a kid, I’d never think to not show up to something that I’d committed to or never return a phone call to someone who has left me a message specifically asking me to call them back. So, what has changed? Why do we think it’s okay to not care or bother? Are we too busy? Or, have we just become so self-important that others no longer matter, and good manners are a distant, fleeting memory

These are good questions and ones that lend pause to our everyday lives. I remember when all this technology (aka computers, the internet and cell phones) were supposed to make our lives easier, give us more free time and allow humans more freedom to do other things (like return phone calls or show up to things they’ve committed to). As we know, this didn’t really pan out.

I find myself inundated, daily and even hourly with things like: emails/texts/Facebook/LinkedIn/Instagram/insert-whatever-social-media app here. It’s endless! Would we be more responsive if we simply unplugged? I don’t know, I still return calls and show up when I say I’m going to and I LIVE online. Well, at least it seems that way.

So, what is it? Why do we behave thusly if we can’t blame our addictions to technology?

I believe we’ve simply tuned out and prioritized differently. We tune out to things that don’t give us instant gratification, a ‘like’ on Facebook or a ‘follow’ on Instagram. We are a society of apathetic children and adults all waiting for the next electronic stimulation instead of looking for that high in normal, daily life.

Maybe it’s not as fun calling your mom back as it is logging in to see what your 2000+ friends have posted about their fabulous lives on a daily/hourly basis. Perhaps it’s not as gratifying as emailing back that friend-in-need as it is reading what your favourite celebrity has just tweeted.

But think about it. Just think. For one minute…ask yourself what’s really REAL and who is going to be there for you when the chips are down? Is it that friend of a friend of a friend (whom you’ve never met) who just posted the latest meal they’ve had or that famous person who got into a feather-slapping argument on Twitter?

No. It’s your mom whom you forgot to call – telling yourself that you just didn’t have enough time and you’ll get to it when you can. Maybe.

It’s your friend-in-need whom you ignored because it was too much work, you didn’t want the drama, etc. That’s who you’ll reach out to.

The question is, will they be available for you?

Group of friends having a social network moment watching on their mobile phones - People leaning on a yellow wall on their phones texting an

Taking Back Your Power

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

Recently, someone close to me lost their job for the 2nd time in just under a year and a half. As you can imagine, this is devastating, and he feels like he is a complete failure; his self-worth stock suddenly took a nose dive and there he was, just another worthless piece of garbage tossed to the side of the curb. All of the hard work he’d put in, 60+ hour weeks, not taking vacation and doing everything that he could to be all that was asked of him, now meant nothing.

To make matters worse, he didn’t see it coming. The circumstances didn’t make sense. Just a few months, prior, he’d had his one-year review, and all was well, in fact, he got a nice raise! There were no indicators that something had gone awry. It was shocking, and the reasons given didn’t add up.

This is just one example of having our power taken away.

When we are let go from our jobs, whatever the reason, there is a deflation of positive energy and an inflation of negative energy such as anxiety; you’ve just been tossed into a black hole of: WTF just happened?! Suddenly our livelihood is in jeopardy, our sense of self and worthiness is now in question.  Worse, we often feel we’ve let those that depend on us, down.

Negative emotions will surround someone who’s power is yanked from them, no matter what the circumstance. In this case, this person was powerLESS to do anything about it. There are huge waves of grief, anger, confusion that they’re riding on. There is depression, sadness, (there is a difference) guilt and denial. All of these are completely normal.

At some point, there will eventually be acceptance and ultimately surrender. The damage is done but soon, the healing will begin.

When someone or a circumstance takes your power, the most important thing to remember is: You can and will get it back. The fastest way to do this is to stop denying all of the uncomfortable emotions that bubble up and first, acknowledge them, and then work with and through them.

Denial gets you nowhere. Shoving your pain away is like trying to constantly keep a massive beachball, underwater. The damn thing keeps popping up and smacking you in the face and the farther you push the ball under, the more energy it creates so that when it pops up, it has a greater force and intensity. As well, there are usually several beachballs at once, each a different colour with a different emotion attached to it.

When this happens, stop shoving them down, pick one up and look at it. What do you see? Is it guilt? Let’s work through that. Remember you’re not alone, you’ve got people who care about you and will listen. You’ll need to express yourself, talk about why you’re feeling guilty. Reach out to your partner or friend, family or clergy – whomever you can. If you’re feeling there is no one, there are numbers you can call to talk to someone at no charge. There is no judgment. Here is a number you can text or call 24/7 1-877-870-4673.

The same is true for all of the beachballs/emotions. You’ll be angry, so BE ANGRY!! You have every right to be! BE sad, it’s good to cry and cleanse. Take responsibility for what you did or didn’t do but don’t accept blame for something that had nothing to do with you.

BE. Be kind to yourself, take it gently through the first few days. You can and will get back up on that horse. Little by little, you’ll feel you’re back in the driver’s seat. Take action and take stalk of everything that you DO have. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human – just like the rest of us.

Many will tell you that the “why’s” don’t matter and you should just let it go. I disagree. When you’ve gotten your power back and feel you’re ready to move on, you’ll realize that the outcome would have been the same, no matter what. But, in the moment, when it’s fresh, you’ll want to understand what happened and I’m going to say most of the time, the situation won’t make sense.

Knowing what went wrong will bring you a little peace. However, I caution you; you may never fully know. You’ll want to hash it out, ad nauseam, and that’s okay. Remember, express yourself. Talk about it, write about it, get it out and into the open so it’s not stuck, inside, and all bottled up. You’re liable to burst like a soda pop on an automatic paint mixer, if you don’t let yourself vent and explore the situation from every angle.

Once you’ve reasoned things out and realize you’re not such a terrible person (assuming you actually didn’t do something terrible) you’ll feel better, increasing your energy and voila, you’re starting to get back into your own Power.

When someone or a situation takes you out of your power, it can feel like you’ve lost part of yourself. Know it’s not forever and it takes a little time and self-care to get it back.

Strong and powerful as super hero . Mixed media

Money and Happiness Are Not Synonymous

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

When we picture money in our lives (especially a windfall) we feel all giddy about what we can get for ourselves, what adventures we can afford and all of the potential GOOD we can do with it.

So it stands to reason that having money = happiness, right?

No. In fact, although money is an essential means of existence and to ‘not’ have it can and does cause unhappiness…it’s not money in itself that creates happiness or negates it.

Let’s be clear. Money is nothing but a medium of ‘exchange’ …and most of it isn’t even tangible, anymore, it’s digital. So we have a digital form of energy that is a medium of exchange for goods and services.

Think about it. What’s the history of money, anyway? While no one is completely certain, we do know that around 5000 BC, people were exchanging pieces of metal for goods and services. At around 700 BC, the Lydians (an Iron Age kingdom of western Asia Minor) were using coins.

Before that, we bartered and traded: you give me 10 apples and I’ll give you 2 bags of rice. If I didn’t need the apples but wanted meat, instead, I took those apples to someone who was ‘selling’ meat and traded the apples for some of that.

So, were we all unhappy prior to using money?? NO! Of course not.

That said, our planet, today, is completely obsessed with it.  That is because most believe that money also = power. To some degree, it does…but that would really depend on how you measure power and what it means to you.

Are you powerful if you are in control of your own life and are able to manifest your own happiness without the aid of anyone but yourself? Are you powerful if you allow yourself to do what you LOVE and be who you really are rather than conform?

Or, are you powerful because you have a lot of money?

These are great questions and I don’t think I can address them in just one blog post!

That said, we all have our own truth and if you believe that you can’t be powerful without money, I tell you to look at people such as: Gandi, Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama.

“But!” you yell… “Look at all those rich and powerful people …!” as you go along to list a bunch of people WITH money AND power and suggest that this is truly the magical formula.

Yet…are they happy people? I could argue that and I suspect some of them truly are. It doesn’t mean that they are happy because they have lots of money.

Was Gandi happy? I’m going to say that he was.

The thing is – money is not happiness and happiness is not money. They can be found together or apart – kinda like chocolate and peanut butter; some find them delicious together while others (maybe you’re allergic to peanuts) find it devastating.

So there you go. You CAN be happy with or without money. It’s not a necessary ingredient as happiness is really an individual and exclusive thing and it is not a byproduct of having ‘stuff’ or having certain people in your life. I know people who have taken their lives because they didn’t have that one person with them, anymore, but when I asked if they were ‘happy’ when this person was with them….they said ‘no’, ultimately not.

You and only you are responsible for your happiness and no amount of cash, beautiful people or other outside influences will create happiness within YOU.

They can be influential and they can contribute but ultimately it’s up to your own conscious being to decide whether or not you will be or are, ultimately, happy.