‘Tis the Season


Every December, I marvel at how on earth it got to be ‘December’ so quickly. Suddenly Christmas is sneaking up on us and then, another New Year. As busy adults, the years fly by at a reckless pace.

At least, it seems that way. We prioritize, summarize, organize and generalize. It can be the same story every year at this time but does it have to be? It used to be for me; I’d race through December tripping over myself and come barreling through into the next year; ready or not, there I’d go!

This year is different. I’m giving myself space and permission to just be in the moment and doing whatever I can to incorporate healing from within, during this busy time. I’m thinking a lot about my worries: an elderly mother with cancer, a sibling with addictions and unemployment, and of course, remembering Brian (he’d have turned 49 on Dec. 23rd…the same age I was when we met). I’m giving extra care to my current partner and we’ve not only solidified our relationship by purchasing a home, together, but we’ve brought a new pet into our lives.

Where there were three, now there are four. We feel more complete.

This year feels different and slower than usual. In fact, it feels more normal, as in, this is how it should be, not some race to an imaginary finish line.

I remember when I was a kid and had such mixed emotions about Christmas. I’d be excited about presents and family gatherings at my Grandparents home, around the corner from where we lived. Then I’d be worried sick that my father would get drunk and Mr. Hide would show up, turning an otherwise fun event into something dark, angry, embarrassing and sad.

Now, Christmas is about sharing, giving, expressing, feeling and letting go. It’s friends and family, being kind to strangers and remembering to listen to our hearts rather than race around inside our heads.

Let’s take a moment and remember who we are and why we’re here. Before this year is over, let’s be grateful for everything – good and bad, blissful and painful. Remember, you’ve learned from everything.

I ask this of you: for the next two weeks live in your heart and higher self. Be generous, warm and kind. We all live many lives but we only have ONE experience of THIS life.

Make it a good one.

A beautiful Holiday Season to all. Let 2018 in with love, grace and joy.

Christmas Blog post

Labels


There’s been a lot of writing, lately about calling ourselves this and that – of lives that matter, the privilege of being White and of course, racism. While all of these are real and human and sometimes ugly, I’d like to look at things a little differently. I’d like for us to remember who we really are.

Who/what – we really are, past our human Ego, past our human bodies and beyond this 3D seemingly solid world we live on.

Let’s take a step back.

We’re not gay or straight or black or white or brown or red. We’re bodies and we all have one. We’re not bi or male, transgender or female, we’re human beings. We were all made in the same way.

We’re not Christian or Muslim. We’re not American or Chinese, Italian or Australian. We’re Earthlings. This is the place we call home, the ONLY place these bodies come from.

Let’s take a step back.

We are souls. We are choosing to have a human experience. We’re here to learn and grow, about everything. Every. Thing.

We are not individuals; there is no US or THEM. We are connected to each and every single life form and then we’re connected to this planet, and of course, each other. We are all part of this little world and if we kill it, our bodies die with it. Why would we cut off our own legs in spite of our arms ? Because, this is what we are doing.

Let’s take a step back.

We are energy. We are all part a Universe and beyond, that, which is all made up of nothing but Energy. Some call this Source. Many call it GOD.

Let’s take a step back.

You are me and I am you. We are all one thing; we are all ONE. Why are you despising YOU? Why are we pointing fingers that, in actuality, are at ourselves? Think about that. Really, THINK. We’re all ONE, take your ears and eyes and beliefs away and what do you have? We have humanity, we have a consciousness, we have an energy being that’s part of all the other energy that’s around us. Part. Of. Not separate.

Let’s take a step back and shed the labels of you’re this and I’m that. Let’s go beyond a body, a faith, a sex, a country, a colour, a belief and this world. Let us see ourselves; see YOURself …for the first time.

6038793

 

Moving in the Right Direction


So, I’ve decided to add to my education and take a counselling course that is offered by the same College as where I did my Life Coaching. It would allow me to get a diploma in Life Coaching – adding to the certificate that I already have.

Also, just as a dentist needs to see another dentist (every 6 months or so…) so does a Medium need to seek out other Mediums. It’s always good to get another’s perspective on things that our Ego can get in the way of. I have one that’s fantastic and we’re good friends, too.

It was suggested that I merge my Life Coaching with my Intuitive practice rather than offer them separately so…

Voila!

I’m going to do just that but I’m deciding on the packaging and packages that make the most sense to someone that would like to engage with a Life Coach and receive intuitive counselling at the same time.

Thoughts? I’m all ears (and eyeballs).

3c44e0ab0ab905fd8ff57796f7fbd0ca--book-quotes-daily-quotes

World Suicide Prevention Day


2016_wspd_banner_english

I think it no coincidence that today is the day I end up taking Brian’s ashes to scatter them on a beach he played on, as a child. I was supposed to go, last week, but seeing as it was the Saturday before the last long weekend before School is back in, my sister and I thought better of it. Long and busy ferry lineups are not our thing.

I didn’t even clue in that we’d re-worked our plans for THIS day. There are no coincidences…this was meant to be.

I miss him. Every day, I miss him.

For new readers, my late boyfriend, Brian, took his life on May 11th, 2015. It is a day that I’ll never forget and one that changed me for the remainder of this life.

Every blog post I read about those who have lost someone that they love, to suicide, tells a similar story. Gut wrenching pain and all too stupid and insensitive comments; platitudes that are tossed out there to us like left over scraps thrown towards a starving street dog.

I’ve heard it all and if you’ve gone through it, so have you.

Mental illness is not treated like other diseases and can you imagine if someone came up to you and said: “Well that was very selfish of him to die of cancer that way!”

That’s the trash we get from friends, family, people who should know better as well as strangers.

One of my all time favourites: “Why aren’t you over it, yet?”

They don’t know any better. We’ve been taught to be uncomfortable around the word: SUICIDE. Why? Because, in our culture, it’s an unacceptable way to die. We’re not supposed to choose to leave on our own. If we spoke about this out in the open, discussed it with our children and loved ones, early on, so it wasn’t a taboo and unholy subject, I believe less people would die.

For those who are battling depression, anxiety and have ever thought of taking their life or who have attempted it, ignorance and societal judgments, as well as, misunderstandings are just the norm. It’s sad and it makes everything SO much worse and I dare say contributes to the rising rate of suicide and suicide attempts.

Those that are so desperate to end their emotional pain that they are willing to end their lives are treated like criminals and outcasts, and that is the worst crime of all.

Let me share this: what suicide attempt survivors wish you to know.

I’ve met others who’ve had a brush with suicidal thoughts; it’s far more common than you think. I know a suicide attempt survivor who is a good friend of mine. One thing that was said was: “thoughts of ending your life never leave you, they are always at the back of your mind. I’d decided that if I ever needed to attempt it, again, that this time I was going to get it right.”

Brian’s story isn’t new. His isn’t unique although his reasons and pain are unique to HIM. How many other people out there are suffering in silence, afraid to ask for help because we criminalize their pain, lock them up like a common killer, and take away every shred of their dignity and all of the things that make them feel human and provide a sense of belonging?

We can do a better job and we have to. In a future blog post I’ll describe the initial PAU (psychiatric assessment unit) that Brian was put into. I will say, now, that it was frightening and he was very scared. I would be too. I’m sure there is a way to fund some sort of community temporary home that allows safe personal items as well as protects people from themselves in a more loving environment. I strongly suspect that family would be willing to help. I would have been.

One issue that is brought to our attention is that our youth are greatly at risk. One in 5 teens have considered suicide, last year according to this article.

One.

In, Five, teenagers…children, for God’s sake.

What is it going to take for us to be comfortable to talk about this in the open? When are we going to let suicide out of it’s closet, because it’s bloody well banging on the door.

Take your religion out of the picture. Take your presumptuous thoughts and set them aside. IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU. It could be your best friend, your spouse, your daughter or your dad. It could be your uncle, your cousin, someone you work with, someone you go to school or the gym with. You could save a life. We could all saves lives if we brought this out into the open and just talked about it.

It could be you. You need to know that it’s safe to talk about.

So, let’s do it. Right here. Open up the door and let it out because if you don’t, it could destroy you.

My goal is to help, to council and to coach. My path is to assist in your healing and guide you to your next steps on your journey. Remember, your soul wants to be here. You chose to be here and everyone has everything to live for.

; None of our life stories are over, yet.

 

 

 

 

A Feel Good Story


Relationships are hard…

Well, they can be challenging and for the most part they are a work in progress. I truly believe if two good people are a ‘real’ match, wonderful things can be accomplished – long lasting things that can span over a great number of years.

Let me give you an extremely sweet example.

My mother had her first official boyfriend at the tender age of 15. It was an innocent time and back in those days (also back in Denmark) 15-year old’s behaved themselves (more or less). It was a true time of sweetness, good clean fun, adventures and friendship.

Her boyfriend at the time, was also 15. A young good-looking strapping lad that was all googly-eyed over the gorgeous and curvaceous, young, blonde bombshell. I’ve seen her pics, I really don’t blame him; she was really hot stuff.

As luck would have it, their love bloomed but was short-lived. My Grandfather had always loved Canada and the young family (my mom, grandparents and aunt) moved to Oakville Ontario. For those of you who don’t want to run to Google Maps. Denmark and Canada are a a hell of a long way away.

Now, keep I mind, this is 1951. There were two main ways to communicate: telephone and mail. I’m going to assume that there were a few letters written back and forth between the lovelorn 15-year old’s from across the Atlantic, but in the end – it was an end of a beautiful beginning.

Or…was it…??

As it turns out, no!

Sixty some odd years later, after my step-father had passed away, my mother gets the idea that she should look up her old beau on the internet. Or… ‘on the computer’ as she puts it. And, she’s in luck!! Her very first boyfriend is also a widower.

Long story short, the two hit it off, again, immediately. It was as if the years simply melted away. Before they knew it, they were Skyping, once a week. Then Leif decided it was time for a visit.

Off he flew to Canada and the two of them went on a romantic holiday to Maui, for about 3-weeks. I’m told this is where they fell in love….(again).

Awww…

After several months, he returned to Denmark. Life went on…but not before the pair decided to get together, again. And this time, for much longer.

He’s currently staying in Canada for as long as he can (6 months). Then they’re jetting off to Denmark for another three.

I have to say, I’ve met him, he’s adorable and the two are inseparable!

If a couple of 79-year old’s can make it work after living almost one whole complete life, apart, then I have hope.

I have confidence that I too, can/will make it work out. I’m really hoping it’s with the current boy that I adore, but if it isn’t, I’m convinced there is the right someone out there for all of us.

Not that I want to wait until my 70’s, mind you. But still…cutest love story, EVER.

Tell Me a Love Story