“The lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.”
We all have it, to some degree. Some, much more than others. While I can’t speak for everyone, I can speak for myself and write about the daily challenges this little monkey on my back gifts me. This post will be keeping in the same theme as those two emotions that we have and deal with, constantly: Love and Fear.
Self-doubt, obviously, is birthed from Fear. And damn it, it’s a clingy little bugger…always popping up when you think everything is going along just fine and then climbing into your lap to ask for cuddles.
“Really. Cuddle me, damn it.”
Self-doubt is sneaky because it pretends it’s your friend by asking leading questions:
“Hey there, do you really think that was a good idea? Just sayin’. Nice lap, btw, it’s comfortable here.”
“Don’t think you should have done that, you should really worry because something bad is now going to happen. Just thinking of your best interest, here…maybe you should try and take it back or…fix it somehow? Seriously love snuggling with ya! I could stay here all day.”
“Do you really want to go there? Probably not, because it could lead to complete disaster. While I’m here getting all cozy, let’s talk about all the different types of disaster there could be…”
But today, I annihilated Self-Doubt! Yup. I killed it. It’s dead, dead, dead!
Perhaps it’s mostly dead. And as we all know, there is only one thing to do with it if it were clearly ALL dead:
Go through its pockets and look for loose change.
I’ve gotten tired of the fear-based emotions in my old’ish age and, quite frankly, I’m starting to not care about them, so much.
Sorry, Fear, bad news – I’m breaking up with you. No, we can’t talk about it, we’re done until I really need you for something worthy. Like, for instance, a life or death situation. Then, you’re welcome to jump right back in my life because then, I’ll actually need you.
What? I’m being selfish?? You bet, baby. You’re my Fear-buddy. Kinda like a Fuck-buddy but without the sex. I call, you come running. Until then, stay away. Get it? Good.
Self-doubt is Fear’s child. I’m quite certain of it and like any good parent, they’d be rather protective of their offspring. To put into better words without all the fluffy metaphors:
We can choose to rid ourselves of self-doubt. It’s not easy but with a little self-talk and acknowledgment that we are in control, not our runaway feelings, it can be done. You can leave your lack of confidence in the dust and opt out for much kinder (and prettier) friends such as: Confidence, Trust and Belief.
Have confidence that you’re more than capable of making the right choices, and surprisingly – you will.
Trust yourself. Trust that YOU know what’s best for you. After all, who knows you better than you do?
Believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
Today I put myself out there –BIG time. I fessed up some pretty deep feelings. But, you know, I’m okay with it. I did the right thing. I did the right thing for me and I wasn’t afraid to be ME. Oh sure…after I hit that forbidden ‘send’ icon, I had a little moment of panic…but it ended quickly.
I’m glad I did it. I wouldn’t take it back for the world. I’m okay with my decision and I’ll live with whatever comes of it.
Go fuck yourself.