Laughter and the Disturbance Of

My mother sent me an email that I found (in the moment) hysterically funny. Sitting next to the New Man, I burst out laughing and rather loudly at that. He got pissed off and annoyed at me disturbing his serenity as God forbid I make a noise.

I suspect he’s in a pissy mood and I suppose my sudden cackle would shock anyone but hey…not like I intended to care the crap out of him by laughing out loud. The heinous noise was but a few seconds of disrespecting the quiet but he definitely wasn’t impressed. Now, had I planned to be LOUD, I’d have apologized but the burst of chuckles simply escaped me. There was really nothing I could do about it.

Given that I’ve spent the last nearly 11 months crying daily over Brian’s death, I think I’ll forgive myself for this terrible act.

Plus…it’s MY apartment. I can do as I please.

So there.


Today’s lesson is brought to you by the letter “R”.

I’m speaking of Religion.

Ohhhhhh, now I’ve instantly pissed off a bunch of people!

Funny, that. It’s even funnier that I really don’t care.

Let me quantify this with my expressed option (and it’s just that – MY opinion) as well as offer up a disclaimer.

Firstly, I am not religious. That means, I do not belong to any one organized belief system about God. My belief system is base more upon metaphysics. Now, let me define exactly what that means, because, I think a lot of folks don’t understand it.




noun: metaphysics

  1. the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space.

There, copied and pasted from the Internet.

Are you still with me?

I like to refer to myself as a cosmic girl. I have many beliefs and theories that resonate with me and there are some aspects of religions that gel with me, too. What I don’t practice – is one, specifically. I also spend an exorbitant amount of time researching and attempting to understand all aspects of life and after life. Seriously, I could send you about a dozen links to what I’m investigating.

Therefore, you could not call me a Christian. Nor could you call me an Atheist.

I do, however, believe in GOD – or the One Source. Or any other name you wish to call it. I also believe we, as souls, are all part of GOD. We are all connected. Each and every one of us, along with every other life form on this little blue-green planet.

We’re all in this together. We are all one – and yes, we’re individual, but all part of THE ONE.

At any rate…again, MY opinion.

I will point out that if your beliefs differ, that’s totally cool with me. I respect that and you. You can believe in whatever you like and if the Hindi faith rocks your boat, go for it! It’s your belief, your path, your heart and life. Not mine.

I don’t judge.

I do, however, resent those that do.

Oh! She’s got a point to all of this…!

Yes, yes, I do.

Something really terrible happened to me (and many others that shared his brief life) just over two months ago. The man I loved and adored left the world in a terrible, terrible way. He chose to take his life.

While the complexity of this situation is steep and almost insurmountable at this stage, it’s a simple fact. He’s gone. He’s gone and those that love him are left here to deal with how we feel. Well, I think I can speak for all of us. It’s complete devastation x about a billion. Scratch that – x about a billion to the 10th power.

Yes, it’s really, REALLY… THAT bad.

Moving on…

Those that know me and those that I’ve decided to let into my life during the past 49 years (there aren’t very many, I’m choosy) know how I feel about religion. To start preaching to me, YOUR views, especially at a time like this, is seriously disrespectful. It will make me mad.

So, now I’m mad.

I’ve decided it’s not in my best and highest good to have these people in my life. Now, more than ever, I’m standing up for what people believe in and the right to do so. And, oddly enough, this would include YOU!

I’m talking about a lot of things: sexual orientation, personal rights and personal belief structures – I could go on. If there is one thing my mother taught me, well, it’s to: live and let live.

“Each to his own!” she’s always saying.

I like that. It works for me.

As long as you’re not harming anyone else, do whatever the fuck you want.

I don’t judge.

You shouldn’t either.

It’s not up to you. It doesn’t matter if Brian was an Atheist or a Communist. He was neither, by the way, but raised Catholic. It doesn’t matter what YOU believe in. What matters…is that those that loved him are in a shitload of PAIN so intense that if you’ve never experienced it, you should get down on your knees right this moment and pray to whatever God you worship that you never, ever, ever have to go through it.

We don’t need to be told where to find the Lord/Lady. We already know where SHE/HE is and she’s/he’s NOT lost. We don’t need religious Hymns sent to us and to have you jump onto your soap box and start preaching the WORD.

WE – are not interested in YOUR beliefs.

We do, however respect them so – please respect ours.

If you don’t, you will find yourself not included in our lives from this point on. You will find we won’t communicate with you further and you will find that you no longer have us as your friend.

Yes, I’m breaking up with you. Deal with it.


Line Cutting

This is, by far, my greatest driving pet peeve. In fact, in infuriates me.

Every day when I drive to work…I get into the RH turning lane at the top of 20th St. in New Westminster. This leads onto the Queensborough Bridge and it’s one hell of a long line up.

The other lane turns left into New West. You can’t go straight.

You know where I’m going with this, right? There is ALWAYS one (or two) asshole(s) who drive down the other lane, bypassing everyone who has been sitting there, inching forward ever so slowly, from light to light… for 15 min or longer.

These bastards/bitches cut in line at the end…forcing their way in so THEY don’t have to do what the rest of us good people have to do – which is: WAIT. IN A CUE. WITH EVERYONE ELSE.

Whilst the good commuting people of the Lower Mainland are doing thus…hating it, but doing it, because it’s polite and it’s the right thing to do…there are those (and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) that think they’re just a little bit better than the good people of the world and feel justified in breaking the law and pissing off everyone. Why? Maybe they’re running a little late…maybe they didn’t know the lanes split…maybe I’ve got a bridge in Portland for sale that has your name on it.

Riiiiight. T. F. B. I say. That’s “too fucking bad” for the acronym-impaired.

Now, I want to say something to the people that let them (the assholes) into said line, because…you don’t have to. Make them wait! When you let them in, a) they win and b) you’re letting them know that it’s okay to be a jerk.

Don’t! Don’t be intimidated by their BIG vehicle! Don’t let them stare you down, beg, threaten you with hand gestures that make absolutely no sense and possible swear words (because you can’t hear them when they’re yelling inside their car).

Do. NOT. Let. Them. In.

I don’t. If they stare me down…I give them the: I’m an evil witch and will hex you, look. This confuses the hell out of them and may even frighten some. Good. That’s the idea.

I yell: KARMA HEX!! -at them, shaking my fist. Really, you should see some of the reactions I get back. I think I karma hexed about three people, today. They’ll get their comeuppance. Oh yeah.

I don’t fall for that desperate, pleading look, either. *See previous acronym in the body of this blog.

Nope, NOT getting in!

I wish there was room where the COPS could be pulling aside and ticketing these offenders-of-the-lanes, because the COPS will do that if they can. I have no issues with this. Good, I say, book ’em, Danno!

So. Are you going to cut into a lane, tomorrow on your way to work? I’d advise you not to…Karma can be a bitch.


Chasing the Elusive and Impossible

Dear Men,

What gives? You like me, you don’t like me…you seem to be interested but then you’re really not so much? You want to be intimate but not exclusive? You flirt/compliment/chase but still keep searching for that elusive, impossibly perfect girl.

I’d sure like to know what qualities she has in your imaginative mind; it’s killing me not to know what I’m really up against. I think I know what the problem is; online dating gives you far too much to choose from. You’re like a five-year old let loose in a Walmart packed floor to ceiling with easy-to-reach candy.

When Management Shies away from Decision Making and Plays the Blame Game

You know – I did this when I was in my twenties and a store manager. It was always much easier to avoid any decisions…ask my staff to make them and then when things didn’t work out – point the finger squarely at them. It’s a hell of a thing to step up to the plate and accept responsibility.

But that is what ‘management’ is supposed to do.  It’s called ‘we pay you the big bucks’, ‘accountability’ and just plain…dude – YOU ARE THE REGIONAL MANAGER.. not us.

As I mentioned, I was in my twenties. I got paid shit and I was immature. I’ve learned a lot since then and twenty years later I see that CORPORATE management is still pulling the same crap. The thing is…they’re in their forties, they DO get paid the big bucks and it’s just plain cowardice and playing the ‘blame game’ because they are not qualified, not able to and not responsible enough to make any executive decisions on their own.

Then they ‘cc’ the COO in on the scathing email sent to all staff. Nice. This makes one look pathetic, unqualified to do their job and just plain idiotic. It also further demoralises the team. Ah…such unprofessionalism and lack of forward thinking.

I’m amazed. I shouldn’t be, but I am.