The Trials and Tribulations of Online Dating


One of these days I’m actually going to meet the man of my dreams. God only knows where…or when…or how, for that matter, but I’m damn determined. I figure he’s not going to suddenly and magically appear at my front door. Thus, I have to be ‘out there’ and available.

This means the dreaded online ‘shopping for a mate’ sites.

I’ve now broken a promise to myself by not only perusing one site…but two. I thought everyone would be everywhere but it turns out that’s just not the case. Oh…I do see some peeps on both sites but for the most part, I don’t.

So, here’s an interesting comparison of two of the FREE online dating sites. They’re really free, but if you want any perks, whatsoever, you have to pay. But many still use the basic features and keep it all at no cost. Personally, there are things I want to know so I pay. It’s not much.

Here are some differences between OkCupid and POF. Firstly you may be interested to know that OKC has purchased eHarmony. In my opinion, eHarmony is a complete rip off and I hate them (just a little).

Match.com bought POF. I’m not on Match simply because that’s where I met Brian and my decision is strictly emotional-based. Too many memories are associated with him on there and although they are good ones, I am emotional enough without creating more things to get upset over. I’m trying to move forward, remember?

*Update. Went on Match, anyway. It’s not so bad. I didn’t burst into tears when surfing around, so all is good, thus far. There seems to be a higher caliber of men on here.

POF is really a free for all. You get matches but you get a TON of them. Plus, there are Ultra matches, you can search and they play this silly little game of: whom you want to meet. I get loads of alerts all day long of men who want to ‘meet’ me. I find this funny because 95% of them don’t bother to look at my profile, which means they are only going by pictures of me.

Also, most don’t bother to message me. The ones that do message me actually read my profile. My conclusion is: they don’t want to actually meet me, it’s just a button to click on that says: You’re attractive to me.

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a ‘mutual meet’. That means you apparently BOTH want to meet each other! Then begins the waiting game to see if either of you actually will message one another. I find I’m the one mostly doing it. Sometimes I get completely ignored – which is funny! If you want to allegedly meet me, wouldn’t you message me back?! Nope, not if they only find you cute and can’t be bothered to read your profile. Or…read your profile but then think you’re not compatible with them.

Men are odd.

I look at profiles before I click the ‘meet’ button. It just makes sense. I have to laugh, though, every single time I look at someone’s profile, they’ll run and check out mine!

So if you want a man to actually read your profile on POF, you have to read theirs, first.

On OKC, I find that men read my profile, first, but then…they don’t have a ‘meet me’ icon to click. Instead you can ‘like’ someone but only if you’re an upgraded member. Therefore more people are forced to actually check out a profile.

However, you don’t get a lot of matches, maybe one or two, sporadically. You can search, of course, but it’s a pain in the ass. It’s much easier to search on POF.

Everything is based on what criteria you have in your profile, what questions and how you answered them (you have a ton of mostly really dumb-assed questions to answer) and your search criteria.

OKC has changed from the last time I was on it. They’ve re-done a few things and I think it’s more difficult to maneuver. That being said, for some reason, I’ve found there to be better-suited men on that site for me than POF. BUT – they ditch you quick. Several conversations that I thought were going quite well – simply went cold.

It seems the men on OKC aren’t very polite and they don’t know how to tell you they’ve changed their minds. They just start ignoring you. It’s disappointing. I did check out the women on this site and there are a LOT of very beautiful women in my age group. So…I suspect they have far too much to choose from and after careful consideration, I didn’t make the cut, after all.

I haven’t checked out the competition on POF but I was told by a reliable male source that there are not many attractive women on this site. This could be why I get a lot more attention.

Because POF offers a handy filter where people can’t contact you if they don’t meet certain criteria (such as age, having pics….etc.) I’m not bothered by the horny 20 & 30-something-year olds who think I’m a Cougar. I get this constantly on OKC. As well, I get a lot of men from outside of the country on OKC and I don’t get that on POF. This could be the filter, again. It’s handy.

Currently I’ve got one prospect on OKC and two on POF. Thus far, they all seem like decent guys and are showing interest. This could change, though. I’ve not met any of them, yet.

Stay tuned and don’t touch that dial.

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