Turning Fifty


On the eve of my very last day of being in my fourth decade, I can say that it’s been an interesting ten years. A lot of shit went down. Many things (good and bad) happened in my twenties and thirties, too, but for some reason if feels I only really became an adult in the last ten years. I finally grew up and figured out who I was in the world.

It’s not that I was horrible or immature, per se when I was younger, but I definitely was naïve. I approached life events with trepidation or without much pre-planning rather than wonder and forward thinking.

I’ve learned to be so much more grateful for everything. I’ve learned how in a matter of minutes, our lives and what we think we know, can change forever. WE, can change ourselves for the better and for the worse. It’s always a choice.

The last twelve months humbled me beyond words but I think it’s character building, despite the cost and sadness. I choose to take away the good, now, from every experience when I used to dwell, a lot, on the negative.

I’m so very far from perfect (we never truly get there and it’s not about BEING perfect, it’s about the journey) but I’m so very far from the girl I was when I started out all those years ago, too.

My self-confidence has known more peaks and valleys than the beautiful Shropshire Hills in the Midlands of England. I’ve loved and lost and loved again, so many times, I don’t keep track any more. Going forward, I want to treat each new experience of the heart as if it might be the last one. I want to covet it, peel away all of the insecurities and open up myself to vulnerability and bliss at the same time. How else can we truly experience the wonder of love? How else can we really BE in the moment and experience this precious gift we call life?

We all have so many layers.

We all have so many facets, colours and shades of humanity.

I’m an onion girl and when I open up to shed all of the different parts of me you’re left only with my core being.

The Real Me is shining through.

Who is at the core of you?

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