Dear Neighbours to the South


I’ve been pretty quiet about the impending US Election but hey, it’s crunch-time …

Hey there,

It’s Canada, here. We’re rather concerned about who may be running your country, next. In fact, the whole world is on the very edge of their seats – and not in a good way.

Now…not everyone is a big “Hillary” fan and I get that but the alternative is, well…it’s insane, really. I won’t get into it because I think there is enough out there on the Interwebs to explain what I’m talking about and unless you’ve been living in a cave on Mars for the last 6 months or so, you’re well aware of the multiple scandals, shenanigans and whatnot.

So…

You’ve gotten yourselves into quite the pickle, haven’t you?

Which evil to pick??? Well, neither are evil, really, just flawed human beings like the rest of us, however, the rest of us are not wanting to run the most powerful country on our planet. Just sayin’.

So let’s keep with this ‘evil’ theme just for shits and giggles. And, to keep it simple in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Here is what I think: You’ve got the Wicked Witch of the West VS Satin-in-all-his-glory. Now, no one wants a wicked witch running the show but hear me out. After all, as long as the flying monkeys are fed, you should be okay’ish, right?

Now, Satan…he pretends to be on your side but we all know his objective is to take your soul. You need your soul! And he doesn’t really care which souls they are, either. Oh….he’s spewing off about African Americans, Latinos, women, people who are physically challenged, LBGT, Muslims, Rosie O’Donnell (have I left anyone out?) and, there’s a great deal of question around his sexual deviancy & decency but it’s your SOUL he really wants.

If you’re not on this list, it’s only a matter of time. Trust me.

We love you, America, and I’m not just saying this because you’re our biggest trading partner but because you’re kinda like a big brother to us. I know people with older siblings who have issues, so I’m not judging. You’re already GREAT so no one has to make you that way, again. Don’t buy into this hogwash.

Plus, you’re our neighbor and all; we’re stuck with you. It’s not like we can pick up our HUGE landmass and move it adjacent to Australia. Although, that would be really cool given that it’s way warmer and Canadians and Aussies get along quite well.

But I digress…

Pick the witch, for the love of all that’s HOLY! She may make your life a living hell but at least you won’t reside there, permanently.

You are always welcome, here, after all, we’ve got lots of space (even if much of it is frozen).  And I understand we’re very polite (most of the time). We do say, “sorry”, a lot, and I apologize for that.

Anyway, we’re counting on you to do the right thing; please don’t let us down.

Your pals to the North,

xox

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