Online Dating Etiquette


It think it’s important to always put our best foot forward in life. If we slack off just because we’re not doing things ‘in person’ …what does that say about us? Laziness is not becoming, especially when it comes to searching for a mate.

So. What is the etiquette for online dating sites? What are the expectations and where do we fall short?

Let’s start with the basics:

Honesty.

You’d be surprised (or perhaps you wouldn’t) how many people lie within the first few paragraphs of their online profile. Anything from age to height to weight and even what they look like, can be deceiving. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone who clearly had old (as in many years) pictures of themselves posted when they’d obviously seen better days. One wonders why they think they’ll get away with this as nobody does. Not unless you’re dating a blind person.

Whatever fib you tell is going to be found out about at some point. Keep it honest and you’ll be successful; BS about stuff and you’ll fail, at some point, every time.

What if someone messages you and you aren’t interested?

This is a tough one because, although I hate ignoring people and being ignored, there is a place and time for everything. I never respond to people far away from me and those that are either really young or really old. I think it’s foolish to assume otherwise. But, if someone messages me and they’re not what I’m looking for, I always respond kindly and tell them. This could backfire as I’ve gotten nasty, rude emails back in the past. But that just tells me I really made the right choice! I also will never respond to someone who doesn’t put any thought, whatsoever, into messaging me. It’s all about 1st impressions and if all you can do is say: “Hi.” Well…you’re about as interesting as watching paint dry and I’m not going to waste my time with you.

What if I no longer want to message someone for whatever reason but they’re expecting me to respond?

Honesty really is the best policy and there are several polite ways to tell someone that you’re no longer interested. Maybe you met someone and you want to see where it goes? Maybe they said something too weird or offbeat for you…perhaps they just got boring? By the way, Match.com offers a handy little drop down box to select your ‘thanks but no thanks’ response. I like that idea.

Tell them in a polite way that you no longer wish to correspond. Be creative but caring. I hate it, personally, when I think things are going along smoothly and then Mr. Cute Guy goes radio silent and I don’t know why. It’s rude and if you’re rude before you even meet me, what would you be like if I were your girlfriend.

What if they NEVER invite me to meet them and we end up more as pen pals?

This is silly. I always wait for the man to ask me to meet him as I know men like the chase. They’re hunters, after all. If they don’t, eventually I will ask them if I really like them or, I will bow out, gracefully. It’s competitive, clearly they’re busy with others and you’re not at the top of the list so, why waste your time when they are probably stringing you along in case’ Hot Girl #1 or #2 doesn’t work out?

My advice is to be clear in your profile what you are looking for. Also, don’t let it read like a resume. Unless you’re a stunning model, men actually do read profiles. I know…I’m NOT stunning and I get compliments on my profile all the time and from all over the world.

Be creative and may the romance be with you!

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