Tag Archives: relationships

Relationships

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

re·la·tion·ship

rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/

noun

noun: relationship; plural noun: relationships

  1. the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
synonyms: connection, relation, association, link, correlation, correspondence, parallel, alliance, bond, interrelation, interconnection

 

I’ve always kind of prided myself in being good at relating to others. Although, truth be told, it wasn’t always so. I’m not specifically referring to the romantic kind, either, as relationships form the basis of …well…pretty much our entire world.

It’s how we ‘relate’ to one another both as individuals and groups, that dictate how others perceive us and ultimately how we view ourselves.

When I was much younger, I was terribly shy. It didn’t help that I came from a mostly difficult and painful, home life. I had trust issues. Later on in life I discovered I had abandonment issues. Thankfully there are professionals who help us deal with these things!

I usually don’t let a lot of people into my life (again…trust and abandonment issues) and once upon a time I thought that I had ‘enough’ people in my life and didn’t need any more. I’ve since reviewed this way of thinking and yes…this is because of the whole ‘Brian’ thing.

I don’t believe he realized how many people really loved him. I don’t think he knew just how deeply he affected our lives and he was the kind of guy who would to go to Meet-Up groups and make friends very easily. He was quite a friendly dude. Everyone really liked him.

So I got to thinking… Maybe I shouldn’t be so afraid of reaching out; perhaps I should try a little harder to ‘connect’ to people. If it doesn’t work out, well, no biggie – we move on.

Since I’ve been more receptive to opening my door to possibly new relationships with others, I’ve made friends with clients (women whom I now count as dear personal friends), offered strangers free Reiki so that I may be of service. I’ve created a basis for trust and respect that is reciprocal.

In short, I’ve extended my network of souls and it feels really good! I’m very far from being perfect or even getting to a place where I could even hope to be on the same page as SO many others in my life.

But, I’m making vast improvements. Baby steps, after all.

The message, here?

Be open to receiving as well as giving. Be open to people who care and allow yourself to care, back.

Connect, reach out, believe in kindness, create bonds, alliances and above all else – give of yourself.

Don’t be afraid to love and be loved.

Thanks for the lesson, Bri – and just in time for Christmas, too. 😉

triad_by_musingcalliope-d6frfnp

It’s the 21st Century, Boys…

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

Catching and keeping a good woman isn’t as easy as everyone is telling you, especially with us mature women who’ve been around the block. What I mean by that is: Many of us have wised up; we’ve been married (once or even twice) – some of us are raising kids…some of us are fancy free. We’re not going to be all those things that those so-called professional ‘how to catch a man and keep him’ advice-givers/knowitalls (that charge us girls hundreds and sometimes thousands of $$) say we are.

Not ALL of us are insecure; not all of us NEED a man. That being said, it’s a nice to have and I am truly an advocate of healthy and loving relationships.

Nothing worthwhile comes easy. One has to work on it and in the process ‘work on you’.

So. What’s my point? I think it’s time that men realise that there are Renaissance Women out there – plenty of us and we’re tired of the crap. We’re tired of being lumped into this needy, whiny, bitchy category that claims we’re all pathetically insecure and that WE do all the wrong things – thus screwing up the relationship.

Gentlemen, women are emotional – it’s a fact. Get over it. We’re getting over YOU not being so sensitive to us and we’re sucking it up. It’s time us non-princesses stood up for ourselves and proclaimed:

  • I can pay my own bills, but if you want to buy dinner, I’m certainly not going to complain and I’ll be grateful. In fact, I’ll return the favour – possibly in other ways…
  • I can open the door for myself – but I’m a lady and if you wish to do that, I’ll be flattered! And…also thankful.
  • I have my own hobbies; I don’t need to be with you 24-7. If you have plans, want to hang with the gang or need some alone time…go for it!
  • Just because I have a cat doesn’t mean I’m a crazy cat-lady.  It just means I’m busy and don’t have the time for a dog. Dogs need to be walked (daily) and it’s not fair to leave it alone for lengths of time. A cat is independent, and hey…wouldn’t it be nice to be able to get away for a weekend without needing to take along my puppy? Yes, it would. Plus… my cat doesn’t smell. And he’s super cute and cuddly.

That’s just a snap-shot. More to come.

That First Phase of a Potential Relationship

Posted by fragmentedpoet on

You know that time…the one where you’re just starting to get to know someone but you don’t really know them at all. Your imagination fills in the blanks; it populates your thoughts with pretty possibilities. One might lay out several maps to which there are many interesting journeys that you might take with this person.

Down those roads you go, careful to note all that is along the way. Perhaps you’re hand in hand down a soft country path under a spring mid-day sky. Corn flowers dot the side of the dirt road where last year’s wheat fields have yet to be sown. This is just one romantic silly fantasy that is woven with a great many others.

This person seems familiar to you, and that is because you’re inventing them before you get to understand what they are truly really all about. It’s that in-between place that allows you to fill in missing information to your own satisfaction. It’s a dangerous place but we all do it.

You wonder if he really likes you as much as you like him. Is he thinking of you and if so – what might that be? Perhaps he’s thinking of several and you are merely one among many. You’ll never know – nor, should you. At this point, it’s not your place.

It’s magical, this time. Anything could happen and your mind wants to envision all of it. Just know that your real person of interest will never live up to your fantasy of them. They are, after all, human…just like you. For now, covet your day dreams and be ready to learn about the real deal; be ready to accept all likelihoods or none at all. This is the beauty of the newness of blossoming potentials.